This is Brian with another rambling thought. (I often have rambling thoughts when I'm still up after 1:00 a.m.) First of all, I wanted to express how much we have all appreciated the outpouring of support from everybody. One thing that has struck me in particular, though, is how the majority of the messages end with some variant of "Let me know if there's anything I can do." I have thought about that at length, and I usually can't think of anything. Time and God will have to heal my emotional wounds; other than that, what can anyone do? But then it occurred to me... there is something each one of you can do. If you have kids, you can give them an extra-tight, extra-long hug. Let them know how much you love them, let them know how proud you are of them, and let them know how many wondrous and amazing things this world has to offer. If you have a spouse, let him/her know how much you appreciate what he/she does for the family and for the marriage. If you and your spouse are arguing over something, ask yourself if the argument is really worth it in the grand scheme of things. If you have friends, let them know how much you value the time you spend together and the things you do together. Let your parents and/or siblings know how much they mean to you. That trip or that activity you have been talking or thinking about doing, but haven't actually done... what's stopping you? If it's not likely to kill you or leave you bankrupt, what are you waiting for? As Wendi told me about a week before she passed away, life is meant to be lived, not wasted.
The old saying is true — every day is a gift from God. I didn't realize how true that was until my wife had no more days left. A simple conversation... how easy is that to take for granted? My wife spent about one-fourth of her time in the hospital unconscious and unable to communicate with anyone. Don't take your life, your health or your relationships for granted, because they are all more fragile than many of us realize. Give thanks to God for what you have, because whether you realize it or not, you have so much more than you know.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
More details on Wendi's memorial service
This is Brian with an update on Wendi's upcoming memorial service. I have had quite a few people asking about gifts, flowers, etc. We're covered as far as flowers, and gifts are not necessary. However, if you feel so inclined, you can make a donation to a charity.
Since she was a flight attendant for seven years, Wendi's favorite charity was Airline Ambassadors:
Airline Ambassadors
Wendi always adored animals. Shortly after I met her, her family had to put down their 19-year-old cat; she really took that hard. I'm sure she would appreciate donations to the San Diego Humane Society:
San Diego Humane Society
If you prefer to donate to a cancer-related charity in Wendi's memory, either of these charities would be fine. Her married name was Wendi Rentschler.
The Cancer Project
American Cancer Society
If you have any more questions, feel free to use my Facebook account (or Wendi's Facebook account) to send me an e-mail. I have access to both accounts, so I'll get the message either way.
Since she was a flight attendant for seven years, Wendi's favorite charity was Airline Ambassadors:
Airline Ambassadors
Wendi always adored animals. Shortly after I met her, her family had to put down their 19-year-old cat; she really took that hard. I'm sure she would appreciate donations to the San Diego Humane Society:
San Diego Humane Society
If you prefer to donate to a cancer-related charity in Wendi's memory, either of these charities would be fine. Her married name was Wendi Rentschler.
The Cancer Project
American Cancer Society
If you have any more questions, feel free to use my Facebook account (or Wendi's Facebook account) to send me an e-mail. I have access to both accounts, so I'll get the message either way.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Memorial service for Wendi
This is Brian with another update. I wanted to let everybody know about the upcoming memorial service for Wendi. Anyone who wants to attend is welcome.
Date: Saturday, October 17, 2009
Time: 3:00 p.m.
Place: Tierrasanta Seventh-day Adventist Church
Address: 11260 Clairemont Mesa Blvd., San Diego, CA 92124
Here's a map in case you need directions. If you need more information than what I have given here, send a private message on Facebook to either me or Wendi (I have access to both accounts).
View Larger Map
Date: Saturday, October 17, 2009
Time: 3:00 p.m.
Place: Tierrasanta Seventh-day Adventist Church
Address: 11260 Clairemont Mesa Blvd., San Diego, CA 92124
Here's a map in case you need directions. If you need more information than what I have given here, send a private message on Facebook to either me or Wendi (I have access to both accounts).
View Larger Map
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Some words from Wendi's parents
This is Brian. I received an e-mail earlier today from Wendi's parents, and I wanted to include that here. I can't think of anything more appropriate to add to this blog than her parents' thoughts and feelings regarding this incredibly difficult ordeal.
This is to let you know of Wendi’s passing last night, October 10th at 7 PM at Scripps Memorial Hospital in La Jolla, California. She put up a courageous fight, but in the end, the cancer was too aggressive and fast spreading. Right now, Shirley, Steven and I are in shock and overwhelmed with grief. It is so difficult to see someone so energized and outgoing go through the ravages of cancer. Because she was in such severe pain caused by her tumors the surgery was moved up two weeks sooner than planned. It was hoped that removing the tumors and other affected parts of her uterus would eliminate her pain and stem the spread of the cancer. It was planned that after she healed from the surgery, chemo would be utilized to root out and damage any of the cancer not removed by surgery. Her surgery was performed on September 15th and lasted about 5 hours. Immediately thereafter, the surgeon indicated that this was one of the most difficult surgeries he had performed but thought everything went very well. However, that proved not to be the case. The subsequent 26 days have been like a roller coaster ride with days of euphoria followed by despair.
Wendi had what is called “undifferentiated high grade uterine sarcoma,” a rare type of uterine cancer that forms in muscle or other tissues of the uterus (the small, hollow, pear-shaped organ in a woman’s pelvis in which a fetus develops). It usually occurs after menopause and therefore perplexing to us and her physicians as why Wendi, at age 41, had this type. She was in so much pain before surgery because the tumor in her uterus had grown to the size of a small grapefruit in just a few weeks of diagnosis. To put in perspective how fast spreading this type of cancer is, Wendi was first diagnosed with it in July of this year. Even after the surgery it was revealed that it had spread to both lungs and liver. Still, with chemo after recovering from the surgery, we thought this could be managed. However, as time went on it became apparent that her immune system was overwhelmed fighting the cancer and healing was not going well. Even during the last few days we saw visual evidence that it has spread to her skull. She was surrounded by loved ones to the end. One final note, Brian’s father is a retired oncologist and his mother a registered nurse. Their bedside vigilance, care and love, were an unbelievable comfort to us all. Brian and his family is the best thing that ever happened to Wendi. She was absolutely smitten with every one.
Also, I would like to mention that Wendi was an organ donor, but because of the cancer and infection the only thing that can be used are her corneas – this is the type caring, giving person she was. The past several years were the happiest of her life, finding the love of her life, Brian… they were ready to take on the world! She loved her new job as a medical assistant at Scripps Clinic and was looking forward to going back to school to become an RN.
With all the pain she was having before the surgery, she never complained of any pain from this complicated surgery after. She was well medicated and the dosage increased as needed. Brian spent the last two nights with Wendi in her hospital bed, which we believe she was somehow aware. Her breathing patterns calmed down at these times. It was an extremely therapeutic and calming experience for all of us. I have never witnessed anyone actually passing on from this life before, but it was the most inspirational thing I have ever seen. She was not in pain, but the last stage was of her breath becoming more shallow, slower, and quiet. Her last breath was so serene, peaceful and inspirational. It was the softest, most tender thing I have ever witnessed. (This is Shirley speaking) Thanks to all for your love, support, prayers, and concerns during this excruciating time. We truly understand now what a “heavy heart” means.
Tommy and Shirley
This is to let you know of Wendi’s passing last night, October 10th at 7 PM at Scripps Memorial Hospital in La Jolla, California. She put up a courageous fight, but in the end, the cancer was too aggressive and fast spreading. Right now, Shirley, Steven and I are in shock and overwhelmed with grief. It is so difficult to see someone so energized and outgoing go through the ravages of cancer. Because she was in such severe pain caused by her tumors the surgery was moved up two weeks sooner than planned. It was hoped that removing the tumors and other affected parts of her uterus would eliminate her pain and stem the spread of the cancer. It was planned that after she healed from the surgery, chemo would be utilized to root out and damage any of the cancer not removed by surgery. Her surgery was performed on September 15th and lasted about 5 hours. Immediately thereafter, the surgeon indicated that this was one of the most difficult surgeries he had performed but thought everything went very well. However, that proved not to be the case. The subsequent 26 days have been like a roller coaster ride with days of euphoria followed by despair.
Wendi had what is called “undifferentiated high grade uterine sarcoma,” a rare type of uterine cancer that forms in muscle or other tissues of the uterus (the small, hollow, pear-shaped organ in a woman’s pelvis in which a fetus develops). It usually occurs after menopause and therefore perplexing to us and her physicians as why Wendi, at age 41, had this type. She was in so much pain before surgery because the tumor in her uterus had grown to the size of a small grapefruit in just a few weeks of diagnosis. To put in perspective how fast spreading this type of cancer is, Wendi was first diagnosed with it in July of this year. Even after the surgery it was revealed that it had spread to both lungs and liver. Still, with chemo after recovering from the surgery, we thought this could be managed. However, as time went on it became apparent that her immune system was overwhelmed fighting the cancer and healing was not going well. Even during the last few days we saw visual evidence that it has spread to her skull. She was surrounded by loved ones to the end. One final note, Brian’s father is a retired oncologist and his mother a registered nurse. Their bedside vigilance, care and love, were an unbelievable comfort to us all. Brian and his family is the best thing that ever happened to Wendi. She was absolutely smitten with every one.
Also, I would like to mention that Wendi was an organ donor, but because of the cancer and infection the only thing that can be used are her corneas – this is the type caring, giving person she was. The past several years were the happiest of her life, finding the love of her life, Brian… they were ready to take on the world! She loved her new job as a medical assistant at Scripps Clinic and was looking forward to going back to school to become an RN.
With all the pain she was having before the surgery, she never complained of any pain from this complicated surgery after. She was well medicated and the dosage increased as needed. Brian spent the last two nights with Wendi in her hospital bed, which we believe she was somehow aware. Her breathing patterns calmed down at these times. It was an extremely therapeutic and calming experience for all of us. I have never witnessed anyone actually passing on from this life before, but it was the most inspirational thing I have ever seen. She was not in pain, but the last stage was of her breath becoming more shallow, slower, and quiet. Her last breath was so serene, peaceful and inspirational. It was the softest, most tender thing I have ever witnessed. (This is Shirley speaking) Thanks to all for your love, support, prayers, and concerns during this excruciating time. We truly understand now what a “heavy heart” means.
Tommy and Shirley
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Wendi's journey has ended
This is Brian with an update on Wendi. Tonight I am reporting something I had hoped I would never have to — Wendi has lost her battle with cancer. She fought it very bravely and admirably; we were always very proud of how she handled herself throughout her terrible ordeal. She died peacefully on Saturday, October 10. We observed her death at 7:00 p.m., but the Operation Supervisor pronounced the official time of death at 7:42 p.m. (That's not because our observation was wrong; it's just because the Operation Supervisor didn't come into the room until around 7:40 p.m.)
Wendi died peacefully, surrounded by family — her parents, me, my mother, my brother and his girlfriend, as well as my sister and her baby son. We all told her how much we loved her and how much she meant to us as she took her last few breaths. It was very calm and peaceful. Many more friends and family members came to visit her in the few days before she passed away; we wanted to let them know how much we appreciated them coming to see her. I'm sure she appreciated the visits in her own way, even if she couldn't respond.
In particular, we wanted to thank Wendi's cousin, Cindy, for suggesting that we sleep beside her in her hospital bed. I spent most of the last two days and nights next to her in the hospital bed; she seemed calmer when I was holding her. I was very happy to see both of her parents lying next to her in the hospital bed throughout the last two days. It was a great way to let Wendi know, without ever saying a word, how much she meant to us, so thank you for that, Cindy.
Obviously, there are some arrangements that need to be made, as well as some other things that need to be written here. That will happen when the right time comes, but right now everyone is too overwhelmed with grief to do very much in that regard. We will post updates here about Wendi and the memorial arrangements over the next few days. We are all devastated; we had hoped for the best for Wendi. We never expected to lose her so soon. My beautiful, intelligent, caring, and funny wife has gone home to be with God. I like to think that God thought heaven needed more of a sense of humor. For that, I can't imagine a better fit for the job than Wendi.
More updates soon...
Wendi died peacefully, surrounded by family — her parents, me, my mother, my brother and his girlfriend, as well as my sister and her baby son. We all told her how much we loved her and how much she meant to us as she took her last few breaths. It was very calm and peaceful. Many more friends and family members came to visit her in the few days before she passed away; we wanted to let them know how much we appreciated them coming to see her. I'm sure she appreciated the visits in her own way, even if she couldn't respond.
In particular, we wanted to thank Wendi's cousin, Cindy, for suggesting that we sleep beside her in her hospital bed. I spent most of the last two days and nights next to her in the hospital bed; she seemed calmer when I was holding her. I was very happy to see both of her parents lying next to her in the hospital bed throughout the last two days. It was a great way to let Wendi know, without ever saying a word, how much she meant to us, so thank you for that, Cindy.
Obviously, there are some arrangements that need to be made, as well as some other things that need to be written here. That will happen when the right time comes, but right now everyone is too overwhelmed with grief to do very much in that regard. We will post updates here about Wendi and the memorial arrangements over the next few days. We are all devastated; we had hoped for the best for Wendi. We never expected to lose her so soon. My beautiful, intelligent, caring, and funny wife has gone home to be with God. I like to think that God thought heaven needed more of a sense of humor. For that, I can't imagine a better fit for the job than Wendi.
More updates soon...
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Nearing the end
This is Brian with another update on Wendi. I'm afraid I have devastating news to report. Her condition has deteriorated faster than any of us thought. She only has a few more days to live, maybe less. She is unconscious, and it is unlikely that she will regain consciousness. Hospice is managing her care right now. She will be spending her remaining time in the hospital; she is not coming home. All we can do at this point is try to keep her as comfortable as we can. She cannot eat or drink on her own, and she is not receiving nutrition through her IV, since that would feed the cancer more than it would feed her body. It's only a matter of time now. This is an absolutely devastating situation; I truly thought she would be coming home to recover from the surgery. I had no idea any of this would happen. If you want to come and see her, it's probably best to do it as soon as you can. She probably won't know you're in the room, since she's unconscious.
I wish I had better news... I really do. I'm still in shock over how quickly everything has happened. My only consolation is that she's sleeping peacefully, and she's not in any pain. All we can do now is wait. I'll post another update when something changes.
I wish I had better news... I really do. I'm still in shock over how quickly everything has happened. My only consolation is that she's sleeping peacefully, and she's not in any pain. All we can do now is wait. I'll post another update when something changes.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Discouragement and hope
This is Brian with another update on Wendi. As confusing as it sounds, Wednesday left me feeling discouraged and hopeful at the same time. Wendi and I, along with both sets of parents, met with Dr. Bahador on Wednesday evening. (Wendi was only semi-conscious at the time.) Her bladder leak turned out to be a much bigger problem than I realized — not because of the condition itself, but because it's an indication that her body is not healing. Between the cancer, the trauma of the surgery she had in mid-September, etc., everything has ganged up on her and made it difficult for her to recover from the surgery. She's currently on a clear-liquid diet, she is only semi-conscious most of the time, and she hasn't gone on any walks since Saturday. Those things, combined with her bladder condition, are an indication that she is in poor health. Given her present condition, chemotherapy would be extremely harmful; it could even kill her. She is not a candidate for chemotherapy until she is much healthier and stronger than she is now (i.e. able to withstand the debilitating effects of chemo). To put it another way, unless and until she recovers from the surgery, she has no treatment options to slow the growth of her cancer.
The reason I heard from hospice reps the other day was because Wendi asked her doctor for more information. After hearing Dr. Bahador's explanation of her condition and his reasoning for why he can't give her chemo, I have to concur that hospice is the best route for Wendi, at least right now. I don't want her in the hospital anymore; it's not doing her any good. She's a handful for the nurses, and she has made it clear that she doesn't want to be there. Dr. Bahador has done everything for Wendi that he can, at least for now. She wants to go home; we need to let her do that.
The plan is to have Wendi stay at her parents' house, at least for starters. I'll call her case manager on Thursday morning and get the ball rolling on hospice arrangements. I hope to see her situated at her parents' house by Friday or Saturday. I believe Wendi's best chance for recovery is getting her out of the hospital and bringing her to a more familiar environment. At the risk of sounding overly dramatic, I believe she will give up and die sooner if she has to stay in the hospital much longer. Can she recover and receive chemotherapy before she loses her battle with cancer? There is no way to predict that; at this point, it's entirely up to her. It is possible for her to recover to the point where she can receive chemo, but if that's what she wants, she will have to fight harder than she has ever fought in her life.
The reason I heard from hospice reps the other day was because Wendi asked her doctor for more information. After hearing Dr. Bahador's explanation of her condition and his reasoning for why he can't give her chemo, I have to concur that hospice is the best route for Wendi, at least right now. I don't want her in the hospital anymore; it's not doing her any good. She's a handful for the nurses, and she has made it clear that she doesn't want to be there. Dr. Bahador has done everything for Wendi that he can, at least for now. She wants to go home; we need to let her do that.
The plan is to have Wendi stay at her parents' house, at least for starters. I'll call her case manager on Thursday morning and get the ball rolling on hospice arrangements. I hope to see her situated at her parents' house by Friday or Saturday. I believe Wendi's best chance for recovery is getting her out of the hospital and bringing her to a more familiar environment. At the risk of sounding overly dramatic, I believe she will give up and die sooner if she has to stay in the hospital much longer. Can she recover and receive chemotherapy before she loses her battle with cancer? There is no way to predict that; at this point, it's entirely up to her. It is possible for her to recover to the point where she can receive chemo, but if that's what she wants, she will have to fight harder than she has ever fought in her life.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Hospice? Already?
This is Brian with another update on Wendi. I have to confess that I'm a little torqued at the medical system right now. Sometimes it seems like the Marx Brothers are running the show. First, the good news. Wendi's MRI scan of the brain was negative for cancer, so we can be thankful for that. However, her doctor visited her early on Tuesday morning and had a chat with her. Wendi doesn't remember what was discussed, and my attempts to reach her doctor for clarification were not successful, so I'm still in the dark about her condition. However, the subject of hospice came up, so I was lucky enough to sit through two sales pitches from hospice reps. Yay... I wasted no time in explaining to both reps that we weren't making any decisions about anything until we knew exactly what her condition was, and what all the options were. What I don't get is, if there's no cancer in her brain, isn't chemotherapy still an option, if only to prolong her life? In that case, why bring hospice into the picture? Clearly, we have more questions than answers, and we can only get them from her doctor, who has yet to contact any of us. He wants to meet with all the family on Wednesday (which can't be a good sign), but I am not aware of any meeting place or time. I'll post another update after we actually get some meaningful information about Wendi's condition.
There is still no word on when Wendi can hope to come home, or if she will be able to come home at all. Hopefully that can be cleared up during the meeting with her doctor.
There is still no word on when Wendi can hope to come home, or if she will be able to come home at all. Hopefully that can be cleared up during the meeting with her doctor.
More complications
This is Brian with another update on Wendi. I know this is probably an overly emotional reaction to the situation, but I am becoming increasingly concerned and frustrated by all the complications that are keeping Wendi in the hospital. So far she has been in the hospital two weeks longer than originally estimated. I'm starting to wonder if she will ever be able to come home; she doesn't seem to be improving. When I saw her on Monday afternoon, she seemed very drugged up, and her short-term memory was not very good. She was very nauseous, and she was also complaining about pain in her lower abdominal region, which is noticeably distended. At least while I was there, I couldn't get a good answer from anyone as to why that was happening. I'll give them some time to get a handle on things and check with them again tonight.
My primary concern is that if Wendi is not allowed to come home in the near future, it will start to become difficult for her to recover. Obviously she can't come home in her current condition, but I believe she will be more motivated if she knows that her hospital stay is about to come to an end. She is discouraged by how long she has been kept in the hospital, and she hasn't gone on a single walk for the last two days. (She's supposed to take four walks every day.) I'm worried that this could become a negative situation that feeds on itself — she can't leave the hospital until she improves, but she can't improve until she leaves the hospital. The situation with her bladder seems to be under control, and her staph infection is going away. All that remains is for her to regain some mental acuity so that she can at least partially take care of herself once she's at home.
My primary concern is that if Wendi is not allowed to come home in the near future, it will start to become difficult for her to recover. Obviously she can't come home in her current condition, but I believe she will be more motivated if she knows that her hospital stay is about to come to an end. She is discouraged by how long she has been kept in the hospital, and she hasn't gone on a single walk for the last two days. (She's supposed to take four walks every day.) I'm worried that this could become a negative situation that feeds on itself — she can't leave the hospital until she improves, but she can't improve until she leaves the hospital. The situation with her bladder seems to be under control, and her staph infection is going away. All that remains is for her to regain some mental acuity so that she can at least partially take care of herself once she's at home.
Monday, October 5, 2009
The tubes are back
This is Brian with another update on Wendi. Her port-a-cath was removed on Sunday. However, just when we thought she would be able to go home on Monday or Tuesday (as in today or tomorrow), yet another complication developed. This time it was her bladder; it started leaking internally. The doctors were checking for that before; why it never presented itself as a problem until now... we're not sure. At any rate, her doctor ordered an emergency procedure to have both the nephrostomy tubes put back in. I'm sure they will be there for several weeks while the bladder heals. (The lower abdominal drainage tube is still out, though; it does not need to be put back in.) I hate to see her come home with all those tubes, since the nephrostomy tubes in particular make it harder for her to sleep comfortably and limit her ability to move around. However, we will have to live with such drawbacks, since we only want her coming home from the hospital once — not going back in multiple times to deal with more complications.
Right now, the main things that are keeping her from going home are the staph infection and the bladder leakage issue. I'm sure they'll want to run a few more scans, tests or whatever, but to me it looks like everything that can be done to mitigate the bladder situation has been done. At this point, her body just has to heal the damage, presumably over several weeks. The staph infection is a very serious complication, though; that has to be brought completely under control before she can even hope to be discharged from the hospital. Since she had to get the nephrostomy procedure the other day, I'm sure that messed up the doctors' ability to give her antibiotics, so that will probably delay her treatment to some degree. We're keeping our fingers crossed to see her come home sometime this week, but for lack of a more sophisticated term, we just don't know right now.
Wendi has been in the hospital since September 15. The recovery period was originally intended to be 5-7 days, but obviously the various complications have delayed that. Tuesday (tomorrow) will mark her third week in the hospital. She has only gone outside once during that entire time. Hopefully we can start taking her outside more often while she recovers. She wasn't up for it on Sunday... probably too groggy from the anesthetic she received during the port-a-cath removal and the nephrostomy procedure. We haven't heard about any MRI results; we expect to hear more this coming week.
Right now, the main things that are keeping her from going home are the staph infection and the bladder leakage issue. I'm sure they'll want to run a few more scans, tests or whatever, but to me it looks like everything that can be done to mitigate the bladder situation has been done. At this point, her body just has to heal the damage, presumably over several weeks. The staph infection is a very serious complication, though; that has to be brought completely under control before she can even hope to be discharged from the hospital. Since she had to get the nephrostomy procedure the other day, I'm sure that messed up the doctors' ability to give her antibiotics, so that will probably delay her treatment to some degree. We're keeping our fingers crossed to see her come home sometime this week, but for lack of a more sophisticated term, we just don't know right now.
Wendi has been in the hospital since September 15. The recovery period was originally intended to be 5-7 days, but obviously the various complications have delayed that. Tuesday (tomorrow) will mark her third week in the hospital. She has only gone outside once during that entire time. Hopefully we can start taking her outside more often while she recovers. She wasn't up for it on Sunday... probably too groggy from the anesthetic she received during the port-a-cath removal and the nephrostomy procedure. We haven't heard about any MRI results; we expect to hear more this coming week.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
A new hospital room
This is Brian with another update on Wendi. We took her outside today; it was the first time since her surgery that she had gone outside. She's still quite weak, and she needs assistance to stand up and walk around for short distances. She has quite a bit of physical therapy in her future. Her port-a-cath removal surgery was postponed until Sunday because of some emergency surgeries in the operating room. However, she had an MRI done on Saturday; we expect to get the results this coming week.
Wendi has been moved to a different hospital room, so if you don't find her in the old room or you can't reach her on the hospital phone, you'll know why. She still has her cell phone, so you can always reach her that way. Send me a private message if you need the new hospital room and phone info.
Her discharge from the hospital still appears to be on track for this coming Monday or Tuesday. As we have seen previously, though, that could easily change.
Wendi has been moved to a different hospital room, so if you don't find her in the old room or you can't reach her on the hospital phone, you'll know why. She still has her cell phone, so you can always reach her that way. Send me a private message if you need the new hospital room and phone info.
Her discharge from the hospital still appears to be on track for this coming Monday or Tuesday. As we have seen previously, though, that could easily change.
Friday, October 2, 2009
A truly sad day for all of us
This is Brian with another update on Wendi. I'm afraid I have some really bad news to report. Dr. Bahador and about half a dozen nurses and coordinators within Scripps met with me, Wendi, Wendi's parents and my dad on Friday at 4 p.m. There is evidence of cancer in both of her lungs, as well as her liver. Her head has not been scanned to see if there is evidence of cancer in her brain, so she is scheduled for an MRI early next week. Regardless of the MRI results, the likelihood of long-term survival is very low. Radiation treatment is out of the question, since the cancer is spreading throughout the body. That leaves chemotherapy as the only treatment option; however, it is not realistic to expect a full recovery from chemotherapy alone. In all likelihood, even a favorable response to chemo would only slow the spread of the cancer; it would not increase her likelihood of long-term survival.
Wendi is taking the news very well. She has been extremely strong and courageous, which is a character trait that I have always respected and admired in her. She is still recovering in the hospital; she developed a staph infection at the IV site that was replaced the other day, so she's on antibiotics. The problem is that she has a subdermal (below the skin) device called a port-a-cath in her, which is intended to make it easier to give her chemotherapy treatments. The staph infection has been found in her blood, and the bacteria will latch on to any foreign object such as the port-a-cath. For that reason, the port-a-cath needs to be removed ASAP; that is scheduled for Saturday. Both of her nephrostomy tubes were removed on Friday, and her lower abdominal drainage tube was also taken out. It looks like she will be able to go home with just an IV line for giving her antibiotics. She cannot go home until the staph infection has cleared up; best guess, that will be this coming Monday or Tuesday at the earliest.
I want to take this opportunity to let all of you know how much we have all appreciated the kind words, encouragement, gifts, etc. I know all of you wanted the best for Wendi, and believe me when I tell you, I wish I had better news to report. I'm sure I'll have more to say about this later; I'm still in shock right now. I was prepared for this possibility; I just didn't know it would happen this quickly. As devastated as I am by the news, I can't begin to imagine how her family must feel right now. No parent ever wants to outlive a child. My thoughts and prayers are with her parents and her brother, as well as her niece, her nephew and the rest of her immediate and extended family.
No decision has been made yet regarding the next treatment step for Wendi. We will need to wait until the MRI results come in next week before making that decision. Of course, I'll post an update here when we know more.
Wendi is taking the news very well. She has been extremely strong and courageous, which is a character trait that I have always respected and admired in her. She is still recovering in the hospital; she developed a staph infection at the IV site that was replaced the other day, so she's on antibiotics. The problem is that she has a subdermal (below the skin) device called a port-a-cath in her, which is intended to make it easier to give her chemotherapy treatments. The staph infection has been found in her blood, and the bacteria will latch on to any foreign object such as the port-a-cath. For that reason, the port-a-cath needs to be removed ASAP; that is scheduled for Saturday. Both of her nephrostomy tubes were removed on Friday, and her lower abdominal drainage tube was also taken out. It looks like she will be able to go home with just an IV line for giving her antibiotics. She cannot go home until the staph infection has cleared up; best guess, that will be this coming Monday or Tuesday at the earliest.
I want to take this opportunity to let all of you know how much we have all appreciated the kind words, encouragement, gifts, etc. I know all of you wanted the best for Wendi, and believe me when I tell you, I wish I had better news to report. I'm sure I'll have more to say about this later; I'm still in shock right now. I was prepared for this possibility; I just didn't know it would happen this quickly. As devastated as I am by the news, I can't begin to imagine how her family must feel right now. No parent ever wants to outlive a child. My thoughts and prayers are with her parents and her brother, as well as her niece, her nephew and the rest of her immediate and extended family.
No decision has been made yet regarding the next treatment step for Wendi. We will need to wait until the MRI results come in next week before making that decision. Of course, I'll post an update here when we know more.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
This week? Maybe? Hopefully?
This is Brian with another update on Wendi. Her infection seems to be going away, now that she has a new IV line. Her temperature is in a more normal range. Her nephrostomy tubes have been clamped, so they will most likely be removed within a week or so. Dr. Bahador wants to meet with us on Friday afternoon, presumably to talk about what has happened so far and what still needs to happen. When I asked the discharge planner if the Friday meeting was an indication that Wendi would be discharged from the hospital on Friday, the response was "not necessarily." It's our hope and expectation that she will be discharged on Friday or Saturday, but ultimately that's up to her doctor.
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