Some words from Wendi's parents

This is Brian. I received an e-mail earlier today from Wendi's parents, and I wanted to include that here. I can't think of anything more appropriate to add to this blog than her parents' thoughts and feelings regarding this incredibly difficult ordeal.

This is to let you know of Wendi’s passing last night, October 10th at 7 PM at Scripps Memorial Hospital in La Jolla, California. She put up a courageous fight, but in the end, the cancer was too aggressive and fast spreading. Right now, Shirley, Steven and I are in shock and overwhelmed with grief. It is so difficult to see someone so energized and outgoing go through the ravages of cancer. Because she was in such severe pain caused by her tumors the surgery was moved up two weeks sooner than planned. It was hoped that removing the tumors and other affected parts of her uterus would eliminate her pain and stem the spread of the cancer. It was planned that after she healed from the surgery, chemo would be utilized to root out and damage any of the cancer not removed by surgery. Her surgery was performed on September 15th and lasted about 5 hours. Immediately thereafter, the surgeon indicated that this was one of the most difficult surgeries he had performed but thought everything went very well. However, that proved not to be the case. The subsequent 26 days have been like a roller coaster ride with days of euphoria followed by despair.

Wendi had what is called “undifferentiated high grade uterine sarcoma,” a rare type of uterine cancer that forms in muscle or other tissues of the uterus (the small, hollow, pear-shaped organ in a woman’s pelvis in which a fetus develops). It usually occurs after menopause and therefore perplexing to us and her physicians as why Wendi, at age 41, had this type. She was in so much pain before surgery because the tumor in her uterus had grown to the size of a small grapefruit in just a few weeks of diagnosis. To put in perspective how fast spreading this type of cancer is, Wendi was first diagnosed with it in July of this year. Even after the surgery it was revealed that it had spread to both lungs and liver. Still, with chemo after recovering from the surgery, we thought this could be managed. However, as time went on it became apparent that her immune system was overwhelmed fighting the cancer and healing was not going well. Even during the last few days we saw visual evidence that it has spread to her skull. She was surrounded by loved ones to the end. One final note, Brian’s father is a retired oncologist and his mother a registered nurse. Their bedside vigilance, care and love, were an unbelievable comfort to us all. Brian and his family is the best thing that ever happened to Wendi. She was absolutely smitten with every one.

Also, I would like to mention that Wendi was an organ donor, but because of the cancer and infection the only thing that can be used are her corneas – this is the type caring, giving person she was. The past several years were the happiest of her life, finding the love of her life, Brian… they were ready to take on the world! She loved her new job as a medical assistant at Scripps Clinic and was looking forward to going back to school to become an RN.

With all the pain she was having before the surgery, she never complained of any pain from this complicated surgery after. She was well medicated and the dosage increased as needed. Brian spent the last two nights with Wendi in her hospital bed, which we believe she was somehow aware. Her breathing patterns calmed down at these times. It was an extremely therapeutic and calming experience for all of us. I have never witnessed anyone actually passing on from this life before, but it was the most inspirational thing I have ever seen. She was not in pain, but the last stage was of her breath becoming more shallow, slower, and quiet. Her last breath was so serene, peaceful and inspirational. It was the softest, most tender thing I have ever witnessed. (This is Shirley speaking) Thanks to all for your love, support, prayers, and concerns during this excruciating time. We truly understand now what a “heavy heart” means.

Tommy and Shirley